We live in a world that constantly tells us that if we buy that, or if we start doing a certain thing, we will instantly improve our lives. Now, don’t get me wrong.
Of course, our whole purpose on this earth is to acquire knowledge, develop and evolve into more conscious beings, but there’s a fine line that we should never cross.
You have to admit that sometimes it feels like this society is trying to change us and morph us into something we’re not.
And what’s worse, we are taking the bait. We are so obsessed with the false perfection that the media serves us, that we find it hard to simply accept ourselves as we are, fall in love with our flaws and celebrate our differences.
So, here’s how and why I decided to embrace myself instead of fixing my flaws. Here’s my story.
I’ve always struggled with my insecurities. As a child, I was obsessed with the way I looked. I cannot remember whether it had something to do with my family, or it was simply peer pressure, but I hated my body. I hated how big my ears were. I hated how I looked. I hated that I couldn’t wear a ponytail. I hated how the other kids made fun of me. And I hated myself because of my imperfections.
I was so obsessed with comparing myself to every other human being, with watching those perfect women on television and spending hours and hours trying to figure out a way to change the things I hated about myself, that I ruined my childhood. I honestly cannot think of a happy memory from back then, because my life pretty much gravitated around self-hatred and self-pity.
I struggled with finding the road to my happiness. Because every path started with… “As long as I finish this/ do that, I will be happy.”
Until one day, a friend of mine sat me down and said, “What does it take for you to finally accept yourself for who you are?”
“You are so much more than your vision of yourself”
These words shook me down. They stayed in me forever, helped me stand on my feet and realize that in the end, this is who I am. I finally accepted that I am flawed. I accepted that I am imperfect different. But also, that being imperfect and different than others doesn’t make me ugly.
I finally came to the conclusion that this body of mine is my temple and I am the only person who can nurture it. I realized that self-acceptance and self-love are the best things I can do for myself. And so, I realized that self-improvement is possible only when you’ve already accepted yourself as you are.
So, I stopped trying to fix myself. Because there was nothing to be fixed. I started seeing my flaws as my badges of honor. As something that defines me and makes me stand out from the crowd. I embraced every part of me, not just the good things.
This turning point in my life gave me the strength to get up on my feet and reflect on myself. It gave me the power I needed to face myself and understand that I am beautiful. It helped me accept myself and once I did that… a miracle happened.
For the first time in my life, I saw my own strengths. I stopped competing and comparing myself with everyone. I stopped despising myself. I started celebrating my flaws and falling in love with my body. More importantly, I forgave myself for every minute, every hour and every day I spent hating myself. I let go of everything that was keeping me tied to the past. And finally, I buried the old me.
It might have taken me a long time to get here, but I am finally home.
I finally feel comfortable with myself. I finally value myself. I finally know what I want and I’m finally powerful enough to face all the challenges this life is giving me.
So, this is my message for all of you amazing human beings out there.
Do not resist yourselves. You are who you were meant to be. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop chasing ideals. And forget the word perfection.
You will never find your true self if you first don’t abandon the person you pretend to be.