We all fantasize about what our romantic relationships will be like. We imagine our relationships to be all about sunshine, excitement, boxes of chocolates, and passion. We wish the honeymoon phase to last forever – just like in the movies.
But, real life is not a Hollywood romantic movie or a fairytale. Relationships are not a smooth journey.
Healthy and meaningful relationships require a lot more than just love and effort. They require you to make compromises and sacrifices for the sake of the other person. They require you to redefine the way you understand love, which has been greatly shaped by our culture.
So, what exactly are deep, successful relationships based on?
Here are 7 essential truths about relationships that will help you find the answer:
1. Love is not about effort. No one can deny that effort is a very important thing in a relationship. Yet, it’s not the basis. If you don’t feel love in your heart and a deep emotional, mental, and spiritual connection between you and your partner, it doesn’t matter how much effort they put into the relationship.
True love always comes naturally. You can’t force something that doesn’t exist and you can’t force anyone to be in a relationship with you.
2. Love is not about time as well. You can spend your whole life saying that your ideal partner is your best friend because you know them very well and feel the most comfortable with them. But, love is not about being with someone because they make you feel comfortable.
Love is about being in a relationship with someone you’re compatible with. Thus, you can meet someone with whom you have different backgrounds and interests and whom you never thought you could get along with, but you’ll end up together because you’re compatible.
3. Love is about consistency. You can’t be kind, compassionate, or romantic or shower your partner with affection and sweet words once in a while. You have to do that consistently. You have to be consistent in the effort you invest in the relationship and fully commit yourself to it.
You have to consistently show your partner that you truly love and care about them, not just when you’re in a good mood or when you need something from them because the only thing you’ll achieve by treating them this way is losing them.
4. Love is about respect. Healthy, meaningful, successful relationships are based on mutual respect. At the end of the day, if you can’t respect your partner or if you’re not respected by them, why are you even dating them?
When your relationship is based on trust, that means that you respect each other’s opinions, feelings, needs, wishes, and decisions. But, if this is not the way you treat your partner, then there’s no doubt – you don’t love them.
5. Love is about trust. You can’t have a happy, harmonious relationship if you and your significant other don’t trust each other. You can’t be in love with someone if you’re not completely sure that they’re always honest with you. That they’re faithful to you and that they deserve to put your faith in them.
If your relationship is not based on trust, you can be sure that it’ll never work. It’s simple as that.
6. Love is about communication. Good, open communication is an essential key to successful relationships. So, always, make time to communicate with your significant other. Make time to share your opinions, ideas, feelings, and needs with each other.
Make time to talk about your problems with your partner, be that related to your personal life or the relationship, and find solutions that will be the best for both of you. Never let a day pass by without asking them how they spent their day.
And when they’re not around, send them a message to tell them you miss them or call them to just check up on them and make sure they’re okay. Trust me, this will mean a lot to them.
7. Last but not least, love is about friendship. People usually say that the base of a long-term relationship is friendship, and I believe they’re right. There’s nothing better than knowing that you can share your story with your partner.
Nothing makes you feel happier and more relieved than when you share your deepest thoughts, insecurities, and fears with your significant other without being afraid they might judge and criticize you. It feels really good when you’re not afraid to show them your vulnerable and darkest sides without fearing they might call you “too emotional,” “weak,” or “crazy.”