For the longest time, I went through life following my heart. I trusted my instincts and chose to be kind, even in the most difficult times. I always chose love. Because I believe that even when you have nothing to give, you can still share hope to the ones who have lost it, or bring warmth and sunshine when the people around you are going through their darkest days.
It sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? But it actually isn’t. Just because I’m willing to share somebody else’s pain, it doesn’t make me naïve. Here’s the truth. I’m not gullible. And neither am I stupid. So if you think I can be treated as an option, or an afterthought, or even worse, an accessory that you can use whenever it pleases you, you’re wrong.
My heart is not your playground, so if you think you can toy with my feelings, you’re mistaken.
What pleases me is wearing my heart on my sleeve. And if you try to take advantage of that, then I know how to stand up for myself too. My sincere message to everyone is to stop judging people for the love they are brave enough to share. We’re not selfish, because we grew up believing that there’s enough hope for everyone. But if you try to poison that hope with your own selfishness, we know how to carry our respect and walk away.
I always try to give people the benefit of the doubt. I most certainly am not perfect myself, and I don’t expect the people in my life to be either. I stick up for people, often I get attached too quickly.
For the people I love, I’m willing to laugh with them when things are great and cry with them when things get rough because I know they will do the same for me. I will always put my kindness first because with their presence beside me, together we can grow together and chase after the sun.
But I know that my soft heart is not my weakness. I work hard on my relationships but if you choose to break my trust, then the pieces left behind are all yours to keep. It took me immense courage to build up my self-belief and my personal boundaries, so don’t cross them if you’re going to bring hatred into my life.
To the ones who have taken advantage of me, don’t come and ask me ‘how are you doing?’ You know exactly how I’m feeling because you made me feel that way. And I’m not going to pretend like everything is alright. I’m kind enough to forgive you, so that I no longer have to carry your weight in my life. But don’t think I’m stupid enough to trust you again after you hurt me.
Judging people by the first appearance is not what I do. Everyone deserves a chance and my compassion always helps me look for the best in people. But I know better than to waste my second chances on someone who abused the relationship the first time around. I don’t leave just because things get tough.
If I leave, it’s only because I don’t stay in the same place where my self-esteem is being chipped away, bit by bit.
No matter how many times my trust is broken, I will still always choose to be kind. But don’t think that gives you the license to walk all over me. If you can’t give me back the same trust and honesty, then you can take a seat along with everyone else who tried to bring me down. You can take a spot in the sidelines and watch me as I move on.